The Office

It's like an era of my life has ended...and it's ok.  I just feel like this show has been such a big part of my life the last 8 years.  That may sound silly, but I'll tell you why I was/am so attached to it.

As the second season started, I joined many others in watching the show.  I must thank my sister's former boyfriend for getting my whole family into it.  This was fall 2005 to spring 2006.  At that time I had been in a situation of unrequited love for a few years, and as I watched the character of Jim, I just wanted to give the tv a hug.  I knew what he was going through.  I watched that season's finale episode, "Casino Night", the night before I had the surgery that changed my life's course at the time.  The day after watching Jim profess his feelings for Pam, I was diagnosed with endometriosis.  I had finally started dating the person I had cared about for so long, but I knew his feelings had only changed because I was about to serve a mission for my church (something that wouldn't be possible with my new-found condition).  I hurt like that character hurt.  I knew that my diagnosis meant more than just not serving a mission...it meant the likely end of my current relationship, and I was right.

Then in fall 2006, the character of Jim moved on to a new branch while I moved on to a new and happier chapter of my life.  Many other parallels in our stories would follow...marriage, birth of children, etc.  I was emotionally invested in this show from the beginning.  Unlike other fans who stopped watching when Michael left, or a handful of episodes into the following season, Jeremy and I stuck with it.  This show gave me a reason to laugh when I needed it most.  It made me cry in happiness for the characters I had grown to love.  The series finale was amazing, and I had to share these thoughts with you, however silly they might be.

So thank you to the actors, writers, and NBC for arguably the best show ever made.

Cyber Bullying

I have wrestled back and forth with whether or not to post this entry.  But, when it comes down to it, I am pressing "publish" because I just want my boys to know.  I want them to know that cyber bullying just flat out sucks.  I want my boys to know that being the victim of anything online can be really hurtful, and being the inflictor will likely cause regret.  Something recently triggered memories for me that contained some forms of cyber bullying...texts, I.M.'s (remember those), voicemails accompanied with an egging of my house, and blogs.  Each of these experiences for me started with someone I knew, ranging from acquaintances to my best friend.  Each experience was apologized for, so if any of you are out there reading this, please know that I am completely over all these events and am not trying to re-hash out anything or make you feel bad...just wanting my kids to know briefly what happened and why not to do it.


The first two came at roughly the same time.  I was 17, grew a few inches, put a few pounds of weight on with my growth spurt, and was no longer the awkwardly skinny girl.  I had been on one blind date when I was 16, but never intentionally asked out.  I was new to the world of attention from boys, so when I saw a cute one spending a lot of time at the "Mormon wall" in high school even though he wasn't one, I thought he might be interesting to get to know.  Luckily for me he went to my best friend's Christian youth group.  I don't remember exactly how, but she ended up talking to him and arranging a group hang out.  We got to know each other over the next month or so and I kind of liked him.  Well so did one of the people he had formerly spent time with at the Mormon wall.  She had one of her best friends who I had grown up with in my ward leave me a voicemail cussing me out, calling me names, and threatening me to stay away from him (I guess this isn't so "cyber", but they did it in a disguised voice, so to me it felt that way).  She then gathered a group of friends and egged my house.  I was devastated   That's how I was introduced to girls having claim on guys they were interested in.  I ended things with him shortly after.

Fast forward thru the summer.  It was now the beginning of my senior year.  My best friend was a year older and had left for BYU.  We kept in touch through instant messaging.  One day I was having a conversation with her online, and the next thing I know she was calling me names, saying I was a slut, etc.  I was pretty hurt and got off the computer right away.  Moments later she called me to apologize.  Her roommate and other close friend (again people that I had grown up with) had taken over our conversation, but she had let them do it.  She didn't know their "joke" would take the form that it did.

The next incident occurred my sophomore year of college.  A boy from back home that I had been on a few dates with was coming up to Provo with some friends.  We were having a conversation via text while he was driving up.  Mid-conversation I received a text saying "I hate you."  This might not seem like a big deal (way to be oversensitive Ashley), but we actually had had a falling out a few months before and had just started talking again, so I truly thought he sent it.  As it turned out, one of the other two people in the car had taken his phone without him knowing, opened my last text, and then replied with that one.  Once he got his phone back and saw the damage he immediately called and apologized saying it wasn't him that sent it.  He was obviously mad that it happened because a few minutes later I received apology texts from the person who sent the text from his phone.  They claimed ignorance in knowing who they were texting...that they thought it would be funny to just reply to the next text that came in with that response as a joke.  The boy had told me the opposite, that they knew who they were speaking to, so thanks to my other two experiences I was going to defend myself this time around.  It was the wrong thing to do (I'm still sorry), but I called this person on their bluff and didn't accept the apology that, to my knowledge, contained a lie.

I'll keep this last one brief...a blog post was written about my family that put us in a bad light.  It aimed to portray that we felt a certain way, when we in fact didn't.  When my dad saw it he asked that we not respond through commenting.  I respected his wishes.  Then someone anonymously posted a comment saying they were me and that they were upset.  In truth I had been hurt by the blog post, but the fact that someone was going out of their way to make me look even worse was really really hard to watch.  To let it go and not try to defend myself this time around was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.


So my advice to my boys, and anyone else...

Don't take saying things online or in a text lightly.

If someone is not able to see your face and hear the inflections in your voice, it is possible for them to interpret many things as mean even if they aren't meant to be.  Don't hide behind the anonymity that a computer screen can provide...it is cowardly and wrong.

Even if you know the person you are "pranking" very well, please do not choose to use the cyber world as the medium for your prank.

Lastly, if you ever find yourself the victim, be strong.  If you can, follow this advice:
"Live your life in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one else would believe it."