Changes

We are preparing for A LOT of family to come in a month from now for Jeremy's Graduation/Lincoln's blessing.  It is exciting and stressful, but I think it will be a really fun weekend for Jeremy.

Lincoln has become quite the talker (little coos and mumbles of course, but very verbal and interactive nonetheless).  He only wants to be sitting up when he's awake, but definitely can't sit up on his own yet.  He has started to shove his fists in his mouth constantly and prefers chewing on them to a pacifier (a concept that I can't quite wrap my head around since Beckett loved his paci from day one).  He has also started blowing a lot of spit bubbles, resulting in drool soaked onesies (a trend I am used to from Beckett who was super drooly for a long time as a baby).  As long as we are home, he will go to bed around 8 or 9pm, and will sleep till between 3 and 4am (making for one much more rested mama).  He HATES his carseat, and will typically wail for most of the car rides wherever we go...on rare occasions he will fall asleep, but wakes up as soon as we take him out of the car.

Beckett is a very proud and doting big brother.  He helps me a lot by getting things for me while I am feeding the baby.  He has learned to do a lot of things on his own now since I can't always do them for him (like putting in/taking out movies, getting water bottles from the cabinet, feeding himself etc.).  He loves to give his brother hugs and kisses.  He's always asking where the baby is if he can't see him.  When we're in the car and the baby is crying he does one of two things: either sings the baby a song he made up that goes "Don't cry brooootherrr, I looooove yoouuu", or says to him "It's okay brother, we'll be there in a few minutes".  It is seriously the cutest thing ever, and I am so happy at how much he loves the baby even though he can't really play with him yet.

I love my boys!

Brothers

Uneventful

I'm glad to report that things have been uneventful as far as health issues go since I last posted.

Lately we have noticed that lots of pictures we have taken of Lincoln look like ones we have of Beckett at his age.  Here are a few that show how my boys could be twins!  B is on the left and Link is on the right.  In the first pictures they are both 1 day old, and in the second both are 2 months.  Crazy!

Thru the ringer

This post is pretty personal for me, but I want to remember this time of our lives, so here it goes.  I thought that Lincoln was such an easy baby the first few weeks, and he is, but the circumstances we've been dealt over the last six weeks have been crazy to say the least. Every time I feel like I can't handle one more thing, a new one is thrown our way.

Two weeks after the baby was born, I started to feel feverish. It turned out that I had an infection from clogged milk ducts. I started antibiotics and felt much better. About the same time, both Jeremy and Beckett got the cold that was going around. One of the nights Beckett was up with a croup cough, but we were able to get him breathing easier and back to sleep on our own. About five days later Lincoln started to be congested and have trouble breathing. The next day was my birthday, and the eventful trips to urgent care and the ER occurred that I wrote about in my last post. A few days after coming home from our two days in the hospital, all three boys were finally cold-free.

A day later, I woke up from a nap to Beckett throwing up next to me on the love sac. He threw up one more time that day, and we finally got him to keep some liquid and crackers down before he went to bed that night. The next day I noticed my infection coming back. I then started a second round of antibiotics, but even while on them I had painful clogged ducts that I had to deal with.

Abby and Jesse came into town the next day, and while spending time with them Jeremy, Beckett, and I all threw up within an hour of each other. I was up all later that night going back and forth between feeding the baby and paying my respects to the porcelain throne. We all rested up that Sunday and got over what seemed to be a 48 hour flu.

I had one nice week without issues or sickness, and then Lincoln started to be very colic-y for about three nights. I went to my 6 week postpartum check up, and everything was looking good. That was Friday, and that night I started having some pretty bad cramps. I dismissed them as possibly due to having my first period since the baby. The cramps flared up Saturday night, and again Sunday night. They began to feel more like an endometriosis attack/labor, and were unbearable. I sat up on my parents' couch, and felt what I thought to be a large blood clot come out. As I stood up I knew something was wrong. I went to the bathroom and found an egg sized mass that was definitely not blood. We headed straight to the ER...yes again.

Now I have to wait two days to hear back on what it was. The ER doctor said it could be one of three things: detached placenta, a fibroid tumor, or the craziest of all...a miscarriage (a rare anomaly where I would have somehow got pregnant while already pregnant). Each doctor and nurse seemed to think it was a different one of the three possibilities. They drew blood, did external and internal ultrasounds, did a pelvic exam, and sent me home. Now it's just a waiting game until I hear back and follow up with my doctor.

There have been many times throughout these six weeks that I have felt defeated, exhausted, and on the brink of losing it. Our families have been so loving and helpful. We have been so fortunate that Jeremy's work has been understanding and flexible, and that his school load is much lighter this semester and allows him to be home a lot more. I can't imagine going through this with his schedule last semester; it would have been impossible. Also, we are so lucky that I am still covered by my insurance right now, and that the two boys are fully covered as well.  I know I won't be given more than I can handle, but many times have been borderline for me with my crazy postpartum hormones.  I watched "Return to Me" a few weeks ago and broke down when the grandpa said this quote: "It's the character that's the strongest that God gives the most challenges to."  I don't dare to compare my trials with those of others.  I know I have/have had a very easy life compared to most.  I just felt buoyed up by that thought in a time when my faith was being stretched thin.